This is a love story. Really. I love me.
Who knew this was going to be the way life turned out. Second marriage and I was determined to not let it end. The forever in me meant forever. The process of being with a life coach began after I crashed one day. Someone recommended Dan so I called. As a professional I had very little interest in talking about my past, my first marriage and especially my mom. The stress was so high my closest friends were unrelenting. See someone. Anyone.
The past four years have been unbelievably hard. What I learned was what I already knew. I was worth more than I was getting. The divorce from my husband was not the hardest part of this path. It was being single, and making the commitment to be single while my mind settled all the crap it had inside it. Coaching was not for me. I didn’t wanted coaching I wanted answers. God seemed to know what was best, and I got a coach who knew how to handle my attitude, my stubbornness and my quit whit.
I have been in Dan’s world for over four years. I see him a few times a year now. Imagining life without the journey of Dan being in it is unfathomable. Everyone I work with tells me all the time how much I have changed. I see it too. The happiness, joy, feeling of being alive is so wonderful. I know I did the work. Dan said he would fire me if I didn’t. I think he was kidding. I did the homework, the assignments and the tasks. Nothing could have predicted the outcome. Just doing some simple assignments and then seeing the internal change as a result of the assignments was amazing.
And then! It happened. Dan predicted that my life would change for the better. If I focused on being my best self, followed these simple skills and practiced them life would be different. We, well I, never expected to find the man of my dreams. At this age, and no am not saying how old I am, I would have never believed I could be so much in love. And it all began when Dan taught me how to love ME!
We are married now to this man that showed up in my world. He is the most wonderful thing ever. I deserve all the happiness I can get out of life. If you want to see someone who will be so truth, so kind, so loving, and yet so honest, see Dan. It’s the God inside him that I Love.
We moved from New Mexico a few months ago. As a blended family, it has not been easy to get the parenting, relationship and career all aligned up. We moved here for his job, and it is a 14 hour 6 day a week job. We are committed to making the relationship work. This job is temporary as he works up in management. We have been together over 8 years and marriage only 2 years. Neither of us knew how hard this transition was going to be.
As a new resident, and from a larger city. we usually googled things. I did that typical google search and this was the closest counselor. Living in Rural Kansas there isn’t a lot of services available we are use too. After leaving a message Dan returned my call with a few hours. He was so alive and interested in what was happening. We agreed to meet late in the evening. We did not have child care, and Dan was so open to the idea of just bringing them. We really needed help.
The first time was almost a disaster. Three small children, a tired husband and our first meeting. Both of us have attended counseling in the past. Dan was upfront that his style of working with couples is more a coaching style. My anxiety was calmed almost as soon as we walked into the office. He helped us get the kids busy, heard our story and began to share insight about how to move forward. It was a bit longer of a session since we were the last ones that evening. On the way home we both commented on how insightful and caring Dan was.
We have continued to see Dan as a couple and me for some individual work. I made friends in our community, with Dan’s help, and have a baby sitter now that gives us time alone. The coaching and education Dan uses is so easy to understand and relate too. He was so fun, present and has a great sense of humor. The challenge for anyone seeing Dan would be allowing him to truly see you. He is so easy to talk too and has a very kind heart. He explained to me that part of the coaching process is to teach the skill of how to be a true friend, be vulnerable and care. When you learn this skill, he said, you can take on the world. My marriage relationship was rough for while. I am applying the skills I am learning to every relationship. Thanks Dan
After seeking help with a few days of my wife moving out of my home, I found Dan. Originally I was only interested in keeping m my marriage together. I visited more than one other counselor / coach. The no nonsense approach was so different and refreshing that I was surprised. The other counselor I saw was focused on seeing my wife and I. They felt that having her in the room was the only way to find out was really going on. I wanted that too. She refused and was not available at all, physically or emotionally. I was beside myself and wanted more than anything to have her back in my life.
Within a few times of being with Dan, I began to experience something I didn’t expect. First, I did stop seeing the other counselor because they seemed focused on reuniting and working on us together. It seemed like they were not able to help unless I got her into to the room with us both. Dan’s approach was very unique to me. He was focused on what I knew, and what I wanted. He ask great questions, created inside me the thoughts of hope and safety. He did want to see her, however his focus was on my personal growth and understanding. I needed to change and if this relationship was going to work, it was up to me first to take a good long hard look at my self and how I contributed to her leaving me.
Life is not turning out the way I wanted. No one gets what they want all the time. My big learn was that I was actually creating a lot of the issues in our marriage. She was not without fault, but the realization that she was choosing something I could not control was tough. How kind, generous and emotionally available Dan was is amazing. His ability to have insight and guide each session was so inspiring.
The LIFE I now have is so different. Maybe my marriage didn’t last. What I do know, my life is never ever going to be the same. I have learned how to be more alive, created deep relationships with other men, learned to trust others more, and to be more present and aware of who I am.
Thanks Dan. I have said this so many times. I could not have learned and changed so much without your help.